POWERFUL QUESTIONS
How curiosity is more effective than advice
Be honest, would you rather give advice or ask a question?
For most of us, the answer is that we would much rather give advice! Or at least, that is what we tend to do. Our ultimate aspiration is to become experts in our field and then share our wisdom with others. That being said, it seems most of us are opposed to taking advice. This pattern can be observed in society, in faith, and even within our own families. We are determined individuals who prefer to find our own path rather than follow advice or accept answers from others. Our desires and egos hinder us, and despite the abundance of freely given advice, very little is actually put into practice.
Arguably the only person in history qualified to give advice was Jesus. However, as we take a look into the Gospels, we see that Jesus was much more inclined to ask questions than to give answers. Jesus asked 307 questions, 128 of which appear in more than one Gospel, while he only gave 8 answers. JESUS ASKED QUESTIONS NEARLY 40 TIMES MORE OFTEN THAN HE GAVE ANSWERS.
As we look deeper, we find the most amazing observation — Jesus only directly answered three specific questions:
“Are you the Son of God?” (John 18:37)
“Which is the greatest commandment?” (Matthew. 22 36-37)
“Teach us to pray?” (Luke 11:1)
Clearly, Jesus knew it was more effective to ask questions than to give advice. In general, he asked six kinds of questions:
QUESTIONS OF INVITATION: Jesus stopped and called them. “What do you want me to do for you?” he asked. (Matthew 20:32)
QUESTIONS OF IDENTITY: Jesus was praying in private and his disciples were with him, he asked them, “Who do the crowds say I am?” (Luke 9:18)
QUESTIONS OF INTENT: “What do you think?” (Matthew 21:28)
QUESTIONS OF HEALING/COMPASSION: “Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’?” (Matthew 9: 5-8)
QUESTIONS OF LIFE/FAITH: “Are your hearts hardened?” (Mark 8:17)
QUESTIONS OF LOVE: “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?” (Luke 6:32 )
By asking thought-provoking questions, Jesus actively engaged those around him by offending the mind, engaging the heart, and creating meaningful conversations. Most importantly, Jesus asked the questions people wanted to be asked. A well-crafted question can slow down the conversation, change perspective, and challenge one’s thinking. In a society lacking in respectful dialogue, it seems logical to begin with a question that can open up dialogue instead of giving advice that risks shutting it down. It seems to me in a world where civil discourse is in short supply, it makes sense to start with a good question. Voltaire may have been right. “It’s not the answers you give, but the questions you ask.”
The design of a powerful question can be simple:
SHORT: Seven words or less
OPEN-ENDED: “What, How, Where, and When” more than “Why”
CURIOUS: Come from a place of learning
DISRUPTIVE: Stimulate fresh thinking and self-awareness
What is your most profound question? Send it to me and we will share it in the next IN THE KNOW!
Written by:
Ken B. Tank. - SVP, Young Life Community Networks.