“What do you want to be when you grow up?” I don’t know if there are ten more intimidating words or a more stress inducing question. It just seems to make so many assumptions.
It assumes that you don’t know already.
It assumes that you should have an answer.
It assumes that you're not grown up- otherwise the question wouldn’t have been needed.
More poignantly, the question reveals that God’s ultimate design for men and women is never over. We are always evolving, maturing, transforming, and ‘becoming.’ Bottom line: we never fully arrive. It is one of the ‘perks’ of a life of faith and evidence of the existence of God. We are constantly being formed. One assumption that seems reasonable is that it would behoove us to have an answer as to the general direction and destination of our lives. Answering that question may take a lifetime. That’s why scripture is ‘thick’ with ‘becoming’ language.
Paul writes about being ‘set apart’ and becoming an Apostle in Romans 1.
Acts 2 addresses the transformation that happens when a body of believers becomes a community focused on mission.
John 15 highlights the discipline of pruning and the fruit that becomes evident in an abiding relationship with Christ.
Truly, discipleship (disciple-making) is more verb than noun, and as Young LIfe volunteers have been found to say over the years “God loves you just the way you are but He is not willing to leave you there.” Basically, faith is a journey.
As I've grown in my own awareness of blind spots, shortcomings, and gaps, I have been struck by the deep need for strong voices to speak God’s truth into my life. I’ve always known that it takes a community of adults to reach a community of adolescents, but only recently realized it takes a village to raise a Young Life staff person. The topic of mentorship has enjoyed a revival recently because of the keenly felt desire to identify a person or group of people who advise and walk alongside you through life.
Last year, I decided to pursue a team of FOUR mentors. I am sure I need dozens, but I felt like four was both ambitious and attainable. All four focus on distinct areas of my life and development.
A PASTORAL MENTOR - This is a person(s) that speaks directly into my interior life and life of faith. They are a safe place to share areas of celebration, lament, and doubt without judgement. I have given them the ability to help discern my next chapter of faith. They...
Provide a space for me to enjoy pursuit of what is most dear: my spiritual formation.
Challenge me to sharpen my tools of listening, obedience, humility, and hearing from God.
Prescribe exercises in areas of spiritual intimacy, calling, and growth.
A PERSONAL MENTOR - This is a person(s) that works with me as a whole person. They know everything. The good, the bad, and the messy. They are aware of my failures and daliences as well as successes and achievements. They...
Provide space for laughter, tears, venting, and listening.
Challenge my fears, concerns, long held beliefs, and tendencies.
Prescribe next steps toward life goals, plans, and principles.
A PROFESSIONAL MENTOR - This person(s) speaks into my specific development around my job, calling, and career. They operate as a coach in developing specific gifts and skills. They...
Provide input on my professional leadership development.
Challenge any tendency to play it safe or practice self-protection and seek development opportunities.
Prescribe exercises for skill development, and formation of leadership philosophy and self awareness.
A PUBLISHED MENTOR- This person(s) may be the most fun to identify. They are a writer or author (living/dead) that at their best, causes you to think outside the friendly confines of your own mind. This is your chance to ask CS Lewis, St. Augustine, or Brother Lawrence to mentor you. Come on! They...
Provide a different point of view and broaden your perspective.
Challenge your long held beliefs and stances and disrupt your thinking.
Prescribe a change in posture and help you ask questions, listen better, and seek to understand.
It’s just that simple: four voices/one person - YOU! A community that speaks to your innermost self and your most outward expression. They provide space, challenge the status quo, and prescribe next steps. These are the people that carry weight in your life. To be clear,
it can be one person in each category or a group.
They can be female or male or preferably both!
They can serve in this role for a season, or a lifetime.
If we are going to continue to ‘become’ as we grow up- we need them! “My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you” -Galatians 4:19
*A DISCLAIMER: You may have a better system, this has just tended to work for me. It didn’t come from a book or manual but more from my own observations by looking in the mirror. If you try it- let ME know how it goes.
Written by Ken Tankersley